May 2012
My Thoughts While Grooming My Horse
Me: I swear this horse rolls in mud on purpose just to piss me off.
Me: How does one creature acquire so much dust?
Me: This brush sucks.
Me: I don't even know why I have it.
Me: I don't even know where it came from.
Me: Or why I continue to use it.
Me: I'm brushing this horse and the dust just goes right back on.
Me: [continues brushing watching dust]
Me: What the fuck did you roll in?
Me: Oh shut up the spray bottle does not hurt you.
Me: You're fine, god.
Me: Bitch don't you dare bite me.
Me: Hoof picks with brushes are so much better.
Me: I don't even know why they make the other ones.
Me: Is that thrush? Shit.
Me: Nevermind no it's not.
Me: ...
Me: You would have to shit right now.
Me: Thanks a lot, really.
Me: Okay this is not a show, good enough.
The 3 Most Common Non-Horse Person Sayings
warzington:
fortheloveofponies:
nedtoodles:
1. “I went on a trail ride once and the horse took off with me. Never getting on one again.”
2. “Oh it’s okay, I know how to ride - I rode at a summer camp for two weeks when I was younger. They let us gallop and stuff.”
3. “Don’t you just sit there?”
4. “Its just a horse”
5. “Oh, so you race horses?”
6. -pointing to a pony- “Look at the...
April 2012
Some Thoughtful Horse Questions
1: Equestrian Goal(s)?
2: How many horses do you own?
3: Do you watch horse races?
4: Ever been to a horse race?
5: Dream horse?
6: Dream barn?
7: Describe a barn friend
8: Describe a rider you're jealous of.
9: What do you wish to improve on?
10: Best thing you're at at riding?
11: How many hands is the horse you most often ride?
12: What breed of horses do you ride?
13: Favorite supply store?
14: Do you parents approve of riding?
15: How many people ride at your school?
16: Any other sports you participate in?
17: Describe your perfect ride.
18: Riding flaws?
19: How many times do you ride a week?
20: Describe horseback riding in one word
Me at a horse show:
Me: AW LOOK HOW CUTE YOU ARE
Me: Oh my god I spent two hours on those braids this horse better be kidding me
Me: OH MY GOD THAT PONY IS SO CUTE
Me: What the hell does a green ribbon on the tail mean? Come bite me, I won't kick?
Me: What's my class again?
Me: Where's my number...I just put it down
Me: Can somebody hold this horse while I put my helmet on?
Me: I AM GOING TO DIE
Me: Can you check my stirrups?
Me: Can you check my girth?
Me: I AM GOING TO DIE
Me: Oh no you do not, you are going over that fence you little shit
Me: The corner is not scary, I repeat, the corner is not scary
Me: Did she say to walk or trot? Eh, I'll just see what everyone else does
Me: What jump comes next
Me: ...not that one?
Me: ...oh
Me: 3, 2...okay or we can just leave right here
Me: Can I use that crop?
Me: Is this your martingale?
Me: Will you hold this horse while I pee?
Me: I. NEED. WATER.
Me: Those are definitely two feet higher than what you told me I was jumping
Me: How in god's name am I going to remember this course
Me: HEELS DOWN HEELS DOWN HEELS DOWN
Me: You--are--a--little--shit
Me: FOURTH? I GOT FOURTH?
Me: I thought I was eliminated!
So I went to one of the smaller shows today to watch some of the girls from my barn ride. And guess who was there guys.. DADDYS PAYCHECK..!
Hopefully some of you will understand what I am talking about.
Oh by the way, got my first sun burn of the year..how I got it when it was like fucking not even sunny beats me.
My Thoughts While Tacking My Horse
Me: Fuck my life, saddle pad is backwards.
Me: Shit I forgot my girth again.
Me: I really need to clean my tack.
Me: I'll do that after I ride.
Me: ...
Me: Lol no I won't.
Me: Alright suck it in fatty.
Me: I know you're pushing out.
Me: -.- ..
Me: Seriously stop.
Me: Alright give me your nose.
Me: Stop resisting you're fine.
Me: Take the goddamn bit, goddamnit.
Me: Lol I'm like smashing his ears, my bad.
Me: Forelocks are such a hassle.
Me: Okay done, now let's not die today.
